No, that is not the name of my new hipster disco rock band fantasy, rather it is the reality that began at 10:30pm last night. After trying on the rental tuxedo, it was immediately realized that they had given me clown pants. Literally MC hammer pants inseam that made my legs look bowed with scurvy and just plain wrong. The statement "I will not marry you in those pants" is a cause for action... So, I've spent all morning calling various tailors, rental shops, and retailers for a Plan B. Plan B is to just buy my own tux or suit, which is what my gut had told me in the first place, but for whatever reason (stupidity?), I went with the rental from the local vendor. Apparently that guy in their commercials gets cut off. When he says "You're gonna like the way you look, I guarantee..." it's an incomplete sentence. Maybe the video editor ran out of time when splicing together their 30 minute spot, but what he really says is "You're gonna like the way you look, I guarantee... Hammer Time!"
-Bill
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